The SCA Purity Test
Here's the deal: Gather a group of SCA friends together, plus assorted paper and writing
implements. Decide as a group whether you are going to answer these out loud, or just
share your scores at the end. Appoint someone to read the questions. Everyone write down
the number of questions you have to answer 'no' to. No cheating! At the end of the test,
add up your 'no's, and divide the number in half--that is the percentage of purity you
have left in the context of the SCA. Share your scores with the rest of the group, then
giggle and snicker appropriately. (Note: The authors of this test are NOT responsible for
anything you decide to do from there!)
Remember, these questions are SCA related only-if you've done some of the things outside
the SCA, it doesn't count. On the other hand, within the context of the SCA, all
technicalities count. Enjoy!
(A few abbreviations. Sex/oral sex/mutual masturbation is abbreviated s/o/m. Kissed/necked
is abbreviated k/n.)
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Have you ever…
Section One: General SCA Stuff (the tame area)
1 …freaked the mundanes?
2 …had 5 or more friends who you don't know their mundane name?
3 …contacted an individual at work, only to realize you have no idea what their
mundane name is?
4 …bought mundane clothing pertaining to SCA topics?
5 …taken SCA specific language into mundane vocabulary? (hold, etc.)
6 …attended an after revel? (Otherwise known as post revels, rev downs, etc.)
7 …danced around a fire?
8 …had a society specific tattoo?
9 …given or accepted a favor?
10 …hot tubbed/hot springed at an event?
11 …played stupid testosterone tricks?
Section Two: More General SCA Stuff (the mostly tame area)
12 …kissed a mundane on the head/neck/hand/foot as a greeting gesture?
13 …kissed an SCA member on the head/neck/hand/foot as a greeting gesture?
14 …prepared and taken cloven fruit to an event?
15 …passed a cloven fruit? (Ouch! Make that shared a cloven fruit?)
16 …used a Zen cloven fruit?
17 …flirted?
18 …flirted with carnal ulterior motives?
19 …flirted with ulterior motives other than companionship or sex?
20 …participated in grape diving or similar diversions?
21 …made someone flush while European dancing?
22 …'sharked' 'poached' or 'kidnapped' a partner in dance?
23 …belly danced?
24 …made someone flush while belly-dancing?
25 …never made it back to your tent at a camping event?
26 …showered coed at an event?
27 …come home from an event with marks and bruises not caused by such things as armor
bites?
28 …come home with underthings not belonging to you?
29 …attended a clothing optional after revel?
30 …opted out of your clothing at a clothing optional after revel?
31 …participated in an erotic food eating contest?
32 …skinny dipped at an event?
33 …had a society specific tattoo in a place you shouldn't display in court?
34 …shaved your genital hair into a pattern reminiscent of heraldic arms or period
art?
35 …introduced someone to the SCA for the express purpose of lowering their
inhibitions?
36 …lost a favor?
37 …sung SCA smut songs?
38 …been named in an SCA smut song?
Section Three: Still More General SCA Stuff (more interesting than the
earlier tame stuff)
39 …been involved in a loss of virginity at an event?
40 …danced naked by the fire?
41 …groped someone while European dancing?
42 ...missed or caused someone to miss a battle or war scenario because of carnal
involvement? ("I'd rather fuck in the shade than fight in the sun!")
43 …missed an event you were attending because of carnal involvement?
44 …been caught at an event while in the midst of s/o/m?
45 …been kept awake at a camping event by the sounds of a carnal event?
46 …searched someone out in the morning to identify the carnal participants?
47 …kept others awake by the sounds of your carnal event?
48 …made more noise than necessary to put on a good show for the other tents?
49 …gotten pregnant or impregnated someone at an event?
50 …had s/o/m with someone whose mundane name you didn't know?
51 …lined up your prospective partners prior to an event?
52 …been a victim of a 'fire ship'? (caught the plague/v.d.)
53 …been a 'fire ship'? (passed the plague/v.d.?)
54 …experimented with period contraceptives?
55 …used period sex toys?
56 …owned a collection of authentic period smut?
57 …owned a copy of Complete Anachronist 13?
58 …produced period erotica?
59 …used SCA equipment for sexual purposes?
60 …used feast food for sexual purposes?
61 …duct tape?
62 …taken the last clove from a cloven fruit? (promising more than just a kiss!)
63 …taken the last clove from a cloven fruit, and followed through? (please use the
proper armor for this game…)
64 …fantasized about an SCA demigod (famous in more than one kingdom)?
65 …fantasized about an SCA demigod while carnally involved with someone else?
66 …given or taken a souvenir?
67 …had s/o/m during your or your partner's vigil?
Section Four: Alcohol and Such
68 …gotten drunk at an SCA event?
69 …gotten drunk at an SCA event to the extent of throwing up?
70 …gotten drunk on home brew?
71 …used home-brew for the purpose of lowering someone's inhibitions?
72 …used controlled substances recreationally at an SCA event?
73 …used period controlled substances?
74 …slipped someone controlled recreational substances at an SCA event?
75 …been called up in court drunk?
76 …participated in court drunk?
77 …fought in armor while under the influence?
78 …fought while hung over?
Section Five: Ethics
79 …had a song you performed banned?
80 …lied about something being period?
81 …been banished?
82 …plagiarized documentation for an A&S competition?
83 …plagiarized documentation, and then won the A&S competition?
84 …acquired an authentic period antiquity, and entered it into an A&S
competition?
85 …stolen items at an event?
86 …lied about your membership status to get the discount?
87 …intentionally rhinohided?
88 …been thrown off site?
89 …listened in on a peer circle when you weren't a peer?
90 …gone to an event intentionally lacking a tent?
91 …bartered with sex?
92 …had s/o/m in order to obtain viable political information?
93 …had s/o/m with reigning royalty and subsequently received an award from same
royalty?
94 …had s/o/m with reigning royalty for the explicit purpose of receiving an award?
95 …had s/o/m with reigning royalty for the purpose of receiving an award-and then
not received it?
96 …used your rank to get s/o/m?
97 …lied about your rank to get s/o/m?
98 …impersonated an SCA demigod to get s/o/m?
99 …had s/o/m without the knowledge of your and/or your partner's significant other?
100 …had s/o/m with your and/or your partner's significant other nearby and unaware?
101 …apologized to your significant other for extravagant fabric or trim purchases by
posing in your spoils?
102 …joined a household for the express purpose of getting s/o/m?
103 …taken or performed an audition for consort?
104 …won a crown or coronet list and had s/o/m that night with someone other than
your consort?
105 …become royalty for the express purpose of seeing how many people you can have
s/o/m with during your reign?
Section Six: Places
106 …had s/o/m at a non camping event?
107 …had s/o/m at a camping event?
108 …had s/o/m at a demo?
109 …had s/o/m at an after revel?
110 …had s/o/m at Estrella or Pennsic?
111 …had s/o/m on site before or after an event?
112 …had s/o/m on the road to or from an event?
113 …had s/o/m in the kitchen at an event?
114 …had s/o/m around the campfire?
115 …had s/o/m in the royal pavilion?
116 …had s/o/m on the thrones?
117 …had s/o/m on merchants row?
118 …had s/o/m under the head table?
119 …had s/o/m on the battle field?
120 …had s/o/m on the battle field during a battle?
Section Seven: Fun at Court
121 …missed court in order to be carnally involved?
122 …missed a court you were supposed to be a participant at for s/o/m?
123 …missed a court you were supposed to be giving for s/o/m?
124 …been called to court while carnally involved?
125 …made a presentation in court hoping for sexual favors?
126 …necked/petted at court?
127 …had s/o/m at court?
128 …been caught at court while in the midst of s/o/m?
129 …necked/petted at a court you were participating in?
130 …had s/o/m at a court you were participating in?
131 …had s/o/m while giving a court as reigning royalty?
Section Eight: People and Rank
132 …kissed/necked above your station?
133 …k/n below your station?
134 …k/n a mundane at an SCA event?
135 …k/n a non armiger? (no award of arms)
136 …k/n an armiger?
137 …k/n an officer?
138 …k/n a ship/honorable lord or lady? (grant of arms)
139 …k/n a baron/baroness?
140 …k/n a knight?
141 …k/n a laurel?
142 …k/n a pelican?
143 …k/n a dual threat? (has received 2 different peerages)
144 …k/n a triple threat?
145 …k/n reigning royalty?
146 …k/n a royal peer?
147 …k/n a serving b.o.d. member/corporate officer?
148 …had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation above your station?
149 …had s/o/m below your station?
150 …had s/o/m with a mundane at an SCA event?
151 …had s/o/m with a non armiger?
152 …had s/o/m with an armiger?
153 …had s/o/m with an officer?
154 …had s/o/m with a ship/honorable lord/lady?
155 …had s/o/m with a baron/baroness?
156 …had s/o/m with a knight?
157 …had s/o/m with a laurel?
158 …had s/o/m with a pelican?
159 …had s/o/m with a dual threat?
160 …had s/o/m with a triple threat?
161 …had s/o/m with reigning royalty?
162 …had s/o/m with a royal peer?
163 …had s/o/m with a serving b.o.d. member?
164 …had s/o/m with 5 of the above categories being the same person? (i.e. you 'knew'
them as a non-armiger, then as an armiger, then when they were crowned, etc.…)
165 …had s/o/m with 6 of the above categories being the same person?
166 …had s/o/m with both members of a reigning couple?
167 …had s/o/m with a member of the opposing kingdom at war?
168 …had s/o/m with members of 2 or more kingdoms at the same war?
169 …had s/o/m with members of 2 or more kingdoms at the same time?
170 …had s/o/m with 4 or more members of the SCA in total?
171 …had s/o/m with 4 or more members of your local group in total?
172 …had s/o/m with 2 or more members of your local group within 24 hours?
173 …had s/o/m in two different groups within 24 hours?
174 …had s/o/m with your own baron/baroness?
175 …had s/o/m with the opposing royalty at war?
Section Nine: Garb Games
176 …been unintentionally trapped in garb in a mundane setting?
177 …worn garb because your mundanes were dirty?
178 …worn a 'war bunny' outfit?
179 …worn period garb that was more revealing than your normal mundane outfits?
180 …worn your partlet open?
181 …worn a cod piece?
182 …worn tights?
183 …worn lace?
184 …worn a kilt regimental?
185 …stuffed your garb?
186 …participated in a wet chemise contest?
187 …dressed -only- in woad in public?
188 …gone naked except for your SCA regalia?
189 …wandered an event in your cloak…only?
190 …fallen out of your garb?
191 …purposely fallen out of your garb?
192 …offered to help someone with their garb, with ulterior motives?
193 …had s/o/m in garb?
194 …had s/o/m in garb while not at or traveling to or from an event?
195 …had s/o/m while one of you was in armor?
196 …had s/o/m while both of you were in armor?
197 …worn anatomically explicit armor?
198 …had s/o/m while one of you was in hoops and corsets?
199 …used garb for bondage purposes?
And lastly:
200 Did you use this test as a checklist of things to do?
My additions(these don't count if you're keeping score):
- Have you ever been in the portacastle when called up in court?
- ...to become a court baron?
Have you ever had s/o/m in a portacastle at an event?
- (At a camping event)
- Did you go to a party, that you knew supplied cloven fruit?
- ...with a newbie?
- ...to use the cloven fruit?
- ...to use the cloven fruit at another party?
- Had/have a roommate who doesn't know your mundane name or vice versa. (short or long term)
- Lived with someone who didn't know your mundane name or vice versa. (short or long term)
- ...or you didn't realize you didn't know their real names. (ie They are in the SCA, too)
SCAdians
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